Top 10 Relationship Words Not Translatable into English

Compiled by Pamela Haag at BigThink:

1. Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start. 
   Oh yes, this is an exquisite word, compressing a thrilling and scary relationship moment. It’s that delicious, cusp-y moment of imminent seduction. Neither of you has mustered the courage to make a move, yet. Hands haven’t been placed on knees; you’ve not kissed. But you’ve both conveyed enough to know that it will happen soon… very soon.
2. Yuanfen(Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny. This is a complex concept. It draws on principles of predetermination in Chinese culture, which dictate relationships, encounters and affinities, mostly among lovers and friends.From what I glean, in common usage yuanfen means the “binding force” that links two people together in any relationship. 
   But interestingly, “fate” isn’t the same thing as “destiny.” Even if lovers are fated to find each other they may not end up together. The proverb, “have fate without destiny,” describes couples who meet, but who don’t stay together, for whatever reason. It’s interesting, to distinguish in love between the fated and the destined. Romantic comedies, of course, confound the two.
3. Cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese): The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.
4. Retrouvailles (French):  The happiness of meeting again after a long time. This is such a basic concept, and so familiar to the growing ranks of commuter relationships, or to a relationship of lovers, who see each other only periodically for intense bursts of pleasure. I’m surprised we don’t have any equivalent word for this subset of relationship bliss. It’s a handy one for modern life.
5. Ilunga (Bantu): A person who is willing to forgive abuse the first time; tolerate it the second time, but never a third time.
   Apparently, in 2004, this word won the award as the world’s most difficult to translate. Although at first, I thought it did have a clear phrase equivalent in English: It’s the “three strikes and you’re out” policy. But ilunga conveys a subtler concept, because the feelings are different with each “strike.” The word elegantly conveys the progression toward intolerance, and the different shades of emotion that we feel at each stop along the way.
   Ilunga captures what I’ve described as the shade of gray complexity in marriages—Not abusive marriages, but marriages that involve infidelity, for example.  We’ve got tolerance, within reason, and we’ve got gradations of tolerance, and for different reasons. And then, we have our limit. The English language to describe this state of limits and tolerance flattens out the complexity into black and white, or binary code. You put up with it, or you don’t.  You “stick it out,” or not.
   Ilunga restores the gray scale, where many of us at least occasionally find ourselves in relationships, trying to love imperfect people who’ve failed us and whom we ourselves have failed.
6. La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.
   When I came across this word I thought of “unrequited” love. It’s not quite the same, though. “Unrequited love” describes a relationship state, but not a state of mind. Unrequited love encompasses the lover who isn’t reciprocating, as well as the lover who desires. La douleur exquise gets at the emotional heartache, specifically, of being the one whose love is unreciprocated.
7. Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love. 
   This is different than “love at first sight,” since it implies that you might have a sense of imminent love, somewhere down the road, without yet feeling it. The term captures the intimation of inevitable love in the future, rather than the instant attraction implied by love at first sight.
8. Ya’aburnee(Arabic): “You bury me.” It’s a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person, because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
   The online dictionary that lists this word calls it “morbid and beautiful.” It’s the “How Could I Live Without You?” slickly insincere cliché of dating, polished into a more earnest, poetic term. 
9. Forelsket: (Norwegian):  The euphoria you experience when you’re first falling in love.
   This is a wonderful term for that blissful state, when all your senses are acute for the beloved, the pins and needles thrill of the novelty. There’s a phrase in English for this, but it’s clunky. It’s “New Relationship Energy,” or NRE.
10. Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.”
    It’s interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves her in the same place:  She has a desire with no future. Saudade doesn’t distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time.

(Source: cinderellainrubbershoes, via toodshilli)

Viewpoint by Binyavanga Wainaina:

Let us imagine that Africa was really like it is shown in the international media.

Africa would be a country. Its largest province would be Somalia.

Bono, Angelina Jolie and Madonna would be joint presidents, appointed by the United Nations.

European aid workers would run the Foreign Affairs Office, gap year students from the UK the Ministry of Health and the Ministry of Culture would be run by the makers of the Kony2012 videos.

‘Wholesome and ethnic’

Actual Africans would live inside villages designed by economist Jeffrey Sachs.

Those villagers would wear wholesome hand-made ethnic clothing, dance to wholesome ethnic music and during the day they would grow food communally and engage in things called income-generating activities.

For our own protection, American peacekeepers and Nato planes would surround the villages - making hearts and minds happy and safe.

We would give birth to only one baby per couple - this way we would not overwhelm poor, suffering Europeans with our desire to travel outside our villages and participate fully in a dynamic world.

We would not be allowed to do business with the Chinese and we would not be allowed to do business with the country formerly known as Gaddafi’s Libya.

Africa would discover the child in itself, and stop trying to mess around and be a part of the rest of the world.

Read More

Thoughts?

Dear Jason,

Get well soon.

I hope you have the strength for a speedy recovery, and courage to do the right thing post recovery.

The proposed Kony 2012 plan will be devastating for African people. I know you mean well. Because I believe you when you say, you’ve seen those kids, and you’ve heard their cries. And you’re ready to do all you can to ease their pain and suffering. I know you mean well.

But as someone who’s been in the intimate company of witnesses and survivors as they recounted their horror and suffering, I expect more from you. I expect you to understand the brutality of war, the devastation of war, and the difficulty with recovery from war.

As such, I expect that you would do everything, everything you could to protect the children, their families and their villages from further violence. Not encourage it.

I expect you to understand the devastation caused by occupation and neo-colonialism. And I expect that you would do everything to avoid such scenarios.

Though you mean well to remove Kony militarily, I don’t have to tell you that such a plan could and probably would back fire. I don’t have to tell you the number of children or their families who would get caught up in the crossfire. I don’t have to tell you that. You’ve seen their suffering, and you’ve heard their cries.

I am surprised that you have not mentioned attempts for peaceful resolution. You owe it to all the kids Kony surrounds himself with to try, and keep trying, through peaceful means. Without aggravating the situation.

I am alarmed, that you made no mention of the Juba Peace Process, your role in the process if any, or your organization’s role in the process. I find it disheartening that rather than build on the peaceful legacy of the Juba process, you firmly call for war (on the children essentially, though perhaps inadvertently).

As you know, the Juba process came a long way. But it needs our commitment to work. It needs your and mine, and your organization’s. It might not be as cool, but it is more humane. And more cautious. More conscious of the community, and the circumstances the children and their communities exist.

Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. Though I am a critic of Kony 2012, I have hope. I have hope that you will have the courage to do the right thing. I have hope that you will think about the implication of what you’re proposing for the people who will experience it (and not because you just think it’s a good idea). I hope you will understand how reckless your proposal is, and how potentially devastating it could be. I hope you understand.

I can’t wait for you to get better. Therefore I wish you a speedy recovery. I hope you come back to your creative, committed self. And I really hope I’m not wrong, and that you will do the right thing this time around. Even if you don’t, still get better. Faster. I will still be here, advising you on my itty bitty blog. I encourage you to be more cautious, and reconsider violence as a solution to a violent situation. I see you (a la avatar), and I know you mean well. At least I hope you do. I hope that though you mean well, you will choose well. And become an agent of peace, and not of war.

Sincerely,

The one who can see YOUR true potential